Saturday, September 13, 2008

Invasion of the Body Snatchers

I confess that I normally see my self as a basically sane person of warmth, caring and empathetic development with a touch of humor and perhaps a bit of elevated self-esteem. Today, I am relatively sure that I have been invaded by the body snatchers and that my invader is the Wicked Witch of the West or a close relative in kind with some sort of irritable, genetic affliction that cannot easily be contained. I have been able to refrain from demanding that the air not blow over my body. Trust me when I say that today that is no small achievement.

What I am reminded of in this process is that I simply do not do the sick thing well and even minor surgical procedures more poorly. I am making a note to myself now. NO MORE SURGERY. I am thinking of a tatoo with with those words and a rosebud, or better yet a small elephant, least I forget.

What do you think? I marvel at those people who seem to transend physical discomfort, loss of energy and various gross or painful symptoms all in the name of prevailing modern medicine and through assurance of recovery. I tend to come out fighting, perhaps a bit like Don Quixote and his rather demented dance with the windmill. I think there may be much to be said for chants, and incense. I am not sure if this created a cure but the sounds and smells would have been inviting.

I definitely do not find it to be better living through Chemistry. I am convinced that I have lost at least 50% of my short term memory since taking even a few pain pills..... with no assurance that it is likely to return in the forseeable future. Say a slient prayer now please for me. Some recovering people should not be left alone. Thank goodness, I am assurred by all who witness that this is not serious and that I will soon be up running around normally. HMMMM It is a toss up. Is the pain worse or are the loss of memory and sense of self...I do still remember my name....the more difficult?

The answer to this ongoing mental self evaluation changes frequently....at least every 2 to 3 hours. It sort of sneaks up on you as you struggle to respond to what you have every reason to think is a perfectly reasonable question from a family member but what appears visually to be coming out of the asker's mouth looks like colorful falling children's building blocks.

I keep telling myself....mantra like...in 15 years this will surely not matter....
I cling to the one consolation...I think...the laproscopic scars are covered with heart shaped bandages.

9 comments:

FlyingRabbit said...

It's a difficult article for me! I'll read it twice or more to digest it. hehe
It's Mid-Autumn Festival in China, I'll pray for you to get better to the moon.

Linda S. Socha said...

Rabbit.
That is wonderful!! Actually I am feeling much better. This post is a bit of laughing at myself and not allowing myself to take my small situation TOO seriously! The recovery from the minor surgery has gone extremely well.

I am just a person who likes to be up and running and I have not been able to do so for a bit. I would love for you to pray to the moon for me! All positive thoughts are welcome. I am thankful for them. You are getting better with your English every day??
Linda

Charli said...

Linda...

What a beautiful way to express the disorientation of illness and surgery. I have chills. I identify with what you have written - the memory, the pills, the elephant tattoo. Perhaps we will have matching tattoos as tokens to ward off surgeons... I hope they'll look before they us under. Maybe we'll remember to explain.

...Charli

Linda S. Socha said...

Charli
Thank you for your delightful post.You are great at lifting spirits...Honestly I have always loved elephants....as a symbol. I return to the work a day work tomorrow....on the wings of these lovely thoughts
Linda

The Sea Wind said...

Hi Linda,

I'm sorry to read about the surgery and its barriers toward a normal lifestyle. You sounds really positive in the mean time. That is really great! I have been under minor health issues all summer while traveling. So, I think I could somewhat share with you the experience at the moment. Yes, in 15 years, we may not even remember these minor tumbles in life. Rest well and heal up quickly!

Best,

Christine

Jean said...

Hope you'll be feeling more like your usual self very soon.

Linda S. Socha said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Linda S. Socha said...

Christine
I am really ok and off to a flying new start I expect.
Are we loving London yet? I am there with you in spirit! I have wanted to go to London forever and hope to have a trip planned there for 2010. I am enjoying being on the journey with you even in Blog! I love this quote from your recent post......
"I would either become a dancer, a pianist, a writer or some sort of street artist... I'm not sure if that joke were still true today." You know... I believe you may be a bit of all these things! Thank you for your caring post. I appreciate you and your blog. I love the photo of you on the Hungerford Bridge!
Linda

Linda S. Socha said...

Hello Jean
It was lovely to see your post! Thank you. I am chugging along and remembering that old corney saying about how one door closes so that several more may open. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and your good wishes. I gladly claim them!
I send you wishes for the best of my favorite season of the year.
Linda